life | figure out how, not what

here we are 5 days into the new year, & i still feel the same way i did just a week ago in 2016. if i had to come up with two words to describe my 2016, it would be content & turbulence. content in the first half of 2016, then turbulence in the last half of 2016. 

in the beginning of the year, i launched my online store, was accepted into an amazing art school for my internship, my nephew was born, i wrapped up my last graduate class, had endless evenings spent poolside with friends, almost rekindled an old friendship with a jerk, applied for my first home & even had time to squeeze in a quick miami vacation for my friend's birthday. however, came august, all hell broke loose.

turbulence - in the sense of instability & disorder. it's like the universe came & knocked me off my high horse. never in my life have i been so humbled in such a short amount of time. it was like every time i turned around, something else would occur, which resulted in more stress. first it was my home buying process. as most of the stories we hear, it is never a smooth ride. to make a long story short, i went after a short sale property, & at the 11th hour, i found out almost half of the neighborhood is behind 2 months or more on their HOA fees. which for me meant one of two things: either i put down 20% or some of those people pay their HOA fees up to date. so, i backed out. i worked on that home for 4 months & some shit like that happened last minute. multiple obstacles got in my way with that house, so i took those all as signs. i'll try again next year. 

then i started internship in combination with a full-time & part-time job. i thought i would be able to go part-time at my full-time job to balance all three, but that did not go as planned. so i quit my new part-time job after 3 months cause it was making me sore, swollen & tired due to being on my feet for hours in the hospital. plus, the team i worked with wasn't of much support. it's sad cause i really wanted that additional experience. 

even with quitting my new job, i am still barely above water. i'm spending about 65 hours per week at work (w/mandatory overtime) & interning. luckily, i intern at a university that was out for a month and a half for the holidays! 

i can't forget that i have had the flu since mid december (still coughing & have a headache), & that i had a severe family emergency that really took my family by storm. i wasn't even interested in the holidays, in work or school. at times it was even hard to get me to hang with my friends. i just have't been motivated to do anything really between august & december. all i have been wanting to do is hit the reset button on life & rest.

overall, i am blessed that i was able to see another year. i am happy that i still came out with more highs than lows, & that everyone i care about is still here with me. i find myself reflecting more now than ever about life. here's what i plan to do moving forward:

self-care: i'm a huge advocate of self-care, & usually is really good at it, but fell off pretty bad towards the end of last year. i plan to first start with my inside. eating healthier, exercising more, decreasing my intake of alcohol & dining out, while increasing the amount of times i detox. & most importantly, going to the doctor & dentist regularly. on the outside i want to work on my skin & hair care routine & indulge in more bubble baths for relaxation & detoxing. 

practice patience: yeah. don't have much of it, but i do plan to really put effort into being more patient. it's difficult when you're a millennial who's use to instant gratification. at times, having to actually wait for something, makes me anxious, but being impatient causes me stress, & stress is something i don't need nor want. i'll just take it one step at a time.

take more breaks: this includes vacations (especially after internship), reading more books, walking during my lunch instead of being on my phone. taking 10 minute breaks a couple of times while at work, not running errands every off day, but actually resting or going to the spa.

do less talking: last year & probably the year before, i ran my mouth so much. this has resulted in good & bad reactions. either way, i need to sit back & let my actions do the talking. this will also keep me out of trouble. as a child, i was super shy - came college, that all changed. i really want to get back to being more of a listener. i find myself more at peace then.

invest & save: if it's one thing i really want this year, it's an increase in income. i'm talking more than i've ever made & saved. i have some ideas in mind on how to accomplish that. i plan to consult with some professionals about investing. 

figure out how, not what: lastly, we can all talk the talk, but can we walk the walk? it’s so easy to say what you want to do, but ask yourself how you’re going to do it. it’s so important to list the actionable steps in order to be able to do so. this year my two words are increase & execute. i’m great at planning, but often get lost in the details of execution. everything i do this year should lead me back to those two words in some way. the questions i’ll be asking myself this year are “will this allow you increase in some way?” & “is this helping you execute your goals?“